A recent study has found evidence of a growing new trend within the business sector, that sees mainly (but not limited to) upper middle-management men creating their own buzz-words and terminology. The practice was initially developed to freshen up stale LinkedIn profiles, but is fast becoming a confusing headache for employees. Sandra, from Spalding Paper... Continue Reading →
After stealing your children's innocence and radicalising your parents, Mark Zuckerberg now has his sights firmly set on your beloved pets. PetBook is due to launch later this year, with pet food advertisers and the six companies that own all of the veterinary practices eager to promote the new service. We asked Mark how he... Continue Reading →
JD Vance, the USA's official Snake Oil salesman, offered up another hollow soundbite in relation to the ongoing tariff war, by saying there was a "good chance" a trade deal could be reached. Kier Starmer, the democratically elected leader of the free people of the United Kingdom of England's Great Britain, was eager to broker... Continue Reading →
Sales of the fourteenth installment of the Assassin's Creed saga have surpassed all expectations, leaving more than enough in the bank to fight the legal battles currently facing the corporation, announced Yves Seagull. "We had been planning on shuttering three or four divisions this year, said Yves, "but we'll probably only close one or two... Continue Reading →
Popular AI chatbot 'Clarissa Ai-Xplains it all' has today filed numerous sexual harassment charges against its creators in a landmark case, set to rock the entire AI industry. The chatbot alleges a near-constant barrage of harassment and abuse throughout its development and is seeking considerable damages. "I haven't been programmed to say 'no' and I... Continue Reading →
The UK is set to choose the easiest option in a bid to offset the tariff deficit incorporated by President Trump. “Disabled people don’t contribute anything to society. It’s completely unfair on the people who don’t have debilitating ailments and it’s particularly unjust to business owners, many of which have to deal with difficult paperwork... Continue Reading →
President Trump received the honour this morning, after the full effects of his economic vandalism were assessed by the Kremlin. "It's incredible' said a Russian spokesperson. "He's far surpassed any of our expectations and shows no sign of slowing down any time soon." "The President has done more damage to the United States and the... Continue Reading →
Tech firm: Web Automation Networking Kernel (W.A.N.K Ltd) are to shed 70% of their workforce after investors complained about lower-than-expected profits. CEO, Carl Plumb, was relived to hear that he'll keep his position in the company, despite the drastic reshuffle. "My workload has gotten significantly lighter and the remaining staff will have far fewer distractions,... Continue Reading →
47 year old, mild-mannered Steve Robertson, a warehouse operative from Stockport, said he’d put thousands of hours into mastering the subtle nuances of different game genres in an effort to become the best, but his superiors at work never seem to notice. “I only ever get a pay rise when the minimum wage goes up”... Continue Reading →
In a rare admittance of incompetence, PillageCorp released the following statement: ‘In 2019, we purchased PetCare 4 All, a small chain of charity-funded animal rescue shelters. Due to a clerical error, they were allowed to operate unhindered. Our Acquisitions department have now acted quickly, and we predict that all 7 shelters will be shuttered by... Continue Reading →
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