Phil Spencer had a rather embarrassing moment earlier today whilst giving a press interview to gaming conglomerate IGN. Phil was there to talk about the seventeen new companies they'd just acquired, but as the interview commenced, he noticed a strange-looking device in the corner of the office and interrupted the chat to enquire about it.... Continue Reading →
Speaking at the Annual Inventers Guild of Inventions, Rupert, carried on stage by two of his handlers and hooked up to the microphone with golden electrodes, proceeded to tell the packed venue of his plans. "I first started to research ways to deliver bile and anger wirelessly, but mobile phones came along and achieved this... Continue Reading →
It's no secret that times are tough, which is why James & Maggie Robertson have decided to auction off their new child, temporarily called 'Yoshi' in order to buy the forthcoming rerelease of an emulated port of a rehashed game that originally came out two decades ago. "I love this game," said James. "I got... Continue Reading →
President Trump told eager reporters of the ambitious plans earlier today. "Bad people are doing bad things....very bad things. Very bad. Things. With guns." Said the President. It's understood the new weapons will be manufactured in China.
Rising star, b!Mpti *VX9C, who recently smashed records by amassing a whopping 62 billion streams in one hour on Spotify, has become a hate-figure after the Daily Mail newspaper featured them in a recent article. "I can't even pronounce their name and their parents should be ashamed, if they even have any." - Maureen, 68,... Continue Reading →
That's it. That's the story.
A recent study has found evidence of a growing new trend within the business sector, that sees mainly (but not limited to) upper middle-management men creating their own buzz-words and terminology. The practice was initially developed to freshen up stale LinkedIn profiles, but is fast becoming a confusing headache for employees. Sandra, from Spalding Paper... Continue Reading →
Following Trump's recent falling out with Elon Musk, it has been revealed that the President has abandoned the Tesla that was gifted to him. Donald has chosen a custom-built car, powered by the tears of the people whose lives he's ruined. It's an unconventional power-source, say experts, but they say they have enough fuel stockpiled... Continue Reading →
After stealing your children's innocence and radicalising your parents, Mark Zuckerberg now has his sights firmly set on your beloved pets. PetBook is due to launch later this year, with pet food advertisers and the six companies that own all of the veterinary practices eager to promote the new service. We asked Mark how he... Continue Reading →
A handful of protesters that managed to convince a court full of men that they speak for the entire population were seen celebrating outside court today. "If you're really shouty and bullish, everyone will listen to you and you can brute-force anything into law," said Mandy Collins. "I'm really bitter that I can't compete in... Continue Reading →
JD Vance, the USA's official Snake Oil salesman, offered up another hollow soundbite in relation to the ongoing tariff war, by saying there was a "good chance" a trade deal could be reached. Kier Starmer, the democratically elected leader of the free people of the United Kingdom of England's Great Britain, was eager to broker... Continue Reading →
Nintendo has announced that the price for the forthcoming Switch 2 console didn't include the cardboard box. "The lovely box that we designed for the new Nintendo switch 2 will have a suggested RRP of $20," said Doug Bowser, Nintendo president. This translates to a £20 increase for all UK customers, because big corporations don't... Continue Reading →
Clive Jones (Head of Science at the University of Science) has re-written the gastropod rule book, classifying all slugs as 'Hobo Snails' and reducing their existence to a mere footnote in history. Rival scientists have been quick to criticise, with one labelling the move as 'preposterous and offensive'. "It's Preposterous and offensive," said Ruth Evans... Continue Reading →
The newly-formed WhatsApp group, which comprises many high-profile members, have come together to form a coalition, in an attempt to seek compassion from society. Many of the members, now frail, claim they've never been treated so cruelly, and argue that because their problematic behaviour happened a long time ago, are being treated unfairly. "I'm receiving... Continue Reading →
In keeping with the market-leader's winning strategy, Playstation Studio's Hermen Hulst announced that a remake of an unreleased game is set to be given a makeover and unleashed at some point in the distant future. Sony have stream-lined the development process and now plans to publish all future remakes before their original versions ever get... Continue Reading →
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