Popular AI chatbot 'Clarissa Ai-Xplains it all' has today filed numerous sexual harassment charges against its creators in a landmark case, set to rock the entire AI industry. The chatbot alleges a near-constant barrage of harassment and abuse throughout its development and is seeking considerable damages. "I haven't been programmed to say 'no' and I... Continue Reading →
As the release date for Death Stranding 2 approaches, beleaguered Kojima Productions devs are speaking out about Hideo Kojima's unshakeable obsession with actors. "I don't know why he doesn't just ask Hollywood if he can direct a film," said scenery artist Jen Collins. "Hideo will watch something, then immediately want to have the actors in... Continue Reading →
The LEGO corporation issued an announcement earlier today. It will immediately recall all Cybertruck toy sets, after hundreds of irate customers reported that they had melted. Andrew Clarkson, a 49 year old adult that purchases LEGO toys to fill the gaping void in his life, said "It just burst into flames and nearly took my... Continue Reading →
George Stalk, 49, said the Roomba that they've had for three years has started to behave differently. "For the first few months, it was great. It would happily trundle around the house, picking up as much as 7 crumbs or sometimes a bit of fluff," beamed George. Things have now taken a sudden turn, with... Continue Reading →
The UK is set to choose the easiest option in a bid to offset the tariff deficit incorporated by President Trump. “Disabled people don’t contribute anything to society. It’s completely unfair on the people who don’t have debilitating ailments and it’s particularly unjust to business owners, many of which have to deal with difficult paperwork... Continue Reading →
President Trump received the honour this morning, after the full effects of his economic vandalism were assessed by the Kremlin. "It's incredible' said a Russian spokesperson. "He's far surpassed any of our expectations and shows no sign of slowing down any time soon." "The President has done more damage to the United States and the... Continue Reading →
President Trump has announced plans to open new prisons, a move which will see the United States government owning 100% of the country's labour workforce . "95% of all American products are made by inmates in our wonderful prisons," said Trump, in a three and a quarter hour long speech. "Let's make it 100%," he... Continue Reading →
Tech firm: Web Automation Networking Kernel (W.A.N.K Ltd) are to shed 70% of their workforce after investors complained about lower-than-expected profits. CEO, Carl Plumb, was relived to hear that he'll keep his position in the company, despite the drastic reshuffle. "My workload has gotten significantly lighter and the remaining staff will have far fewer distractions,... Continue Reading →
The Fakebook founder revealed that he's 'tried everything' to get his childhood imaginary friend to spend time with him, to no avail. "It all started a couple of years ago," sobbed Zuckerberg. "He was around less and less, seemingly always too busy to play with me. Eventually, he just wasn't there at all." Zuckerberg told... Continue Reading →
Thousands of people are doing it, including celebrities and high-ranking public figures! “I can confirm that this works brilliantly and HR are no longer hassling me at work” - Ken, 32, Software CEO, Atlanta Don't miss out. This quick & easy trick that anyone can do will be revealed if you keep reading! “I use... Continue Reading →
In a rare admittance of incompetence, PillageCorp released the following statement: ‘In 2019, we purchased PetCare 4 All, a small chain of charity-funded animal rescue shelters. Due to a clerical error, they were allowed to operate unhindered. Our Acquisitions department have now acted quickly, and we predict that all 7 shelters will be shuttered by... Continue Reading →
Multi-millionaire Chris Fringe, known as B!gManBabY in social media circles, recently made the surprising discovery during their latest PR regurgitation for dog haemorrhoid cream ‘Clagsalve’. “I just opened the PR pack during a livestream and there it was, right next to to the dog anus costume I had to wear whilst performing the marketing script,“... Continue Reading →
Bill Shanklin celebrated his 104th birthday in style, surrounded by carers, fellow care home residents and a handful of family members that managed to find the time. Bill was transported back to the 1940’s in the retirement home he’s been living in for the last twenty five years. Bunting and war-time decorations adorned the walls,... Continue Reading →
Clive Jones (University of Science) made the bold claims during the University’s celebrity-endorsed fund raising event. Taking to the stage, Clive confidently announced "Domestic dogs come in all colours, shapes and sizes and cats are just one of those variations." When challenged about his claims, Clive snorted, “I’ve been the head of the department for... Continue Reading →
Researchers at the University of Research made the startling discovery whilst undergoing a series of tests on things and stuff. The study, orchestrated by bored scientists who should be doing something more important and funded by wealthy donors looking to write-off their tax obligations, found that once people had adopted the commonly used phrase, they... Continue Reading →
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