HIDEO KOJIMA KEEPS SHOVING ACTORS INTO VIDEO GAMES WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

As the release date for Death Stranding 2 approaches, beleaguered Kojima Productions devs are speaking out about Hideo Kojima’s unshakeable obsession with actors.

“I don’t know why he doesn’t just ask Hollywood if he can direct a film,” said scenery artist Jen Collins.

“Hideo will watch something, then immediately want to have the actors in the game, making us re-write huge sections in order to fit them in. Please don’t print my name,” said Anton Strauss, senior script writer for Kojima Productions.

“Norman Reedus didn’t even know he was in the first game until the cheque came through the post,” said Alison Twonk.

“Everyone dreads opening up their emails in the morning,” uttered Dan Clancy. “Hideo watched an old episode of On the Buses last week and wanted Reg Varney to be one of the main characters. Luckily, he’s dead and his estate refused.”

We reached out to Hideo Kojima, but received no reply, which is understandable, given the ongoing restructuring of Kojima Productions in the wake of whistle-blowing from disgruntled employees.