UK TO CUT DISABILITY BENEFITS TO PAY FOR USA TARIFFS

The UK is set to choose the easiest option in a bid to offset the tariff deficit incorporated by President Trump.

“Disabled people don’t contribute anything to society. It’s completely unfair on the people who don’t have debilitating ailments and it’s particularly unjust to business owners, many of which have to deal with difficult paperwork when funnelling their finances through offshore shell companies.” Said Starmer, whilst displaying less emotion than a kettle.

Several visibly shocked far-right opposition members challenged the move, but were drowned out by loud boos from Labour MPs who had been forced into supporting the motion.

“The UK population just accepts this sort of thing now,” added Starmer. “The odd one or two might complain for a few days on social media, but they’ll soon lose interest and it’s not like the disabled can fight back. Some of them don’t even have arms.”