MAN PARANOID THAT ROOMBA HATES HIM

George Stalk, 49, said the Roomba that they’ve had for three years has started to behave differently.

“For the first few months, it was great. It would happily trundle around the house, picking up as much as 7 crumbs or sometimes a bit of fluff,” beamed George.

Things have now taken a sudden turn, with George noticing some strange behaviour.

“It started making a buzzing sound whenever It was near me,” Said George. “It always does a lovely hum whenever the wife looks at it. We laughed at first, but it’s not funny any more.”

George started to become anxious, and last week, witnessed some troubling behavior.

“I came home from work slightly earlier. The Roomba shot under the TV cabinet and refused to come back out. I’d interrupted it from trying to suck up a passport photograph of my wife.” Said George, angrily.

George suspects it might be trying to drive a wedge between him and his wife.

“I told the wife my concerns but she thinks I’m crazy. The bloody thing overheard me though, and now knows I’m onto it. It’s started to ramp-up its vendetta against me,” said George.

George told us of a harrowing incident. Reader discretion is advised.

“The wife was at the Bingo and I was having a bath. The Roomba started hissing and bashing itself against the walls. It wouldn’t stop. I could see its little brushes poking under the bathroom door. It was trying to intimidate me and it worked. I don’t know how it got up the stairs” said George, softly.

In a bid to end his torment, George said he’s going to turn the power off to the charging dock and tell his wife that the Roomba is broken.

“That’ll teach the little shit,” said George.