President Trump has announced plans to open new prisons, a move which will see the United States government owning 100% of the country’s labour workforce .
“95% of all American products are made by inmates in our wonderful prisons,” said Trump, in a three and a quarter hour long speech. “Let’s make it 100%,” he screamed, whilst winking at Elon Musk, who was jumping up and down and whooping to the baying crowd.
The plans are set to be finalised soon, now there’s no opposition to anything any more.

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